Tag Archives: death

I remember (poem of mine)

I remember the rush of the air

The sense of death

was so alive

in the pulses

surrounding me

I think I died many times

before I was here

and the palpability

of loss

and regret

as thick

as the wish

on my lips.

A full moon

and black, black

air

a hand on mine

in the night

I meet your eye.

Do not deceive me

black

black night.

Opaque

As I was

surrounded by your smog

to breathe

was a dream.

I lay untouched

in my fort,

smothered.

Do not touch me.

I remember

I remember

the air as thick as burning timber

And to breathe,

Like a dream,

your hand on mine

A dream,

A dream,

A dream.

 

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You pushed me (poem of mine)

You pushed me,
And I felt a warmth
Rush through me
As the heel of your palm
Headstrong
In the curve of my back.
And we forgot all the stars,
Or should I say
I forgave every piece of light
I saw rushing towards me
In that dark fall.
And my final thought,
It felt like love
Love is murder.
Thunder.

I saw my body,
frail as a feather,
White
Blanched,
Starched in the dusk
Of the pale street light…
Your skin.

I looked up,
Stars obscured.
I saw your face,
In a haze of rain,
In a fall as light as
A last breath,
Angels Wings,
Breeze on my back,
Feather-gentle
At my fingertips.

After death, before Spring (poem of mine)

A bone dry
tumbleweed of decay
And brittle grief
Strikes me hard
Like a cane to the face
The lash of silence
Tight around my throat.

This is supposed to be spring
Or nearly
Where are the new lives
Lambs
And resurrections of hope.

I walked around an empty supermarket
It seemed empty
But soon I realised
Desolate
Is a state of mind
One not easy
to find your way through.
It must be buried.

I hope that there is nothing (original poem of mine)

I hope that there is nothing
Not the blankness
Of a blank page
Nor whiteness
Or peace
Or any earthly feeling.
This Earth
Bestowed on me
Enough of these aches,
Enough,
That I don’t need more,
For many lifetimes ahead.

I wish to leave
To nothing
Where there is no one
And none of this,
That has kept me living
Or kept me hoping,
For what is life,
But hoping for a reason,
If anything.

The past and the present and the future
Will be gone,
And not even forgotten.
Do I wish to be left
Like an empty heart
Or, an open door
A new beginning,
new learning,
New this
New that.
I can tell you,
That I have learnt.

A nothing
It cannot be described.
When you leave
You are remembered
And that is it.
I hoped today
That this would be it.
What keeps me here
Is the fear that,
My way out
Is just another way in…
What cruel host
Makes a revolving door of this fate?

Ignorance is bliss (original poem of mine)

Fingers and toes
An unholy show
Of the flesh and the bones
A body so marked
But yet so fresh
An alabaster plane
A collision of chance
And neurons
The hairs
And fingers and toes
And a story and time
and everything
Has come to this.

They say ignorance is bliss
When you want to secure their happiness
It lessens the burden for yourself
Onward with the struggle
And downward with the spiral
A twisted road
That ends
With the golden grail of redemption
And shuddered forgiveness.

In a room that is dark
The window shows the day too clearly
Her reality never seemed too real
But now it stands
Enhanced
And all on show is alone
Like a floating island in a deep expanse
Of emerald sea.

Under dreams (Your soft awakening) – original poem of mine

 

They say
To dream of a staircase
Is a reminder
Of ascension.
To have these thoughts
So quietly breathe in you,
“I am alive” ..

When you land,
It reminds you
What is left behind.
One touch,
On the icy void,
Is enough to leave
A startled longing for that cold relief.

On awakening,
The passing hours before night,
They languish on the days as a heavy sigh.
Like the dead flesh of emptiness.

What is golden is now a fleeting vision,
And all you see
Is the cold silence behind the grey pane
Where all thoughts
Are frozen
In this animated suspension.
The world,
Is loose at the edges,
Where it folds
You hope you will slip through it’s fingers again.

In the dream
All runs smoother
Like water over palms.
In the cold light of day,
Thought is gristly,
And everything grates
Like the sand in my eyes
That day I lay with my head by your side
And the waves soothed the morning tide.

When you realise a dream,
Is an illustration
Etched only in thought,
You can never mourn what you couldn’t lose.
As you pull down a web,
And it dissolves in your hand,
It is the same,
It is the empty loss of the last touch,
And the cracked voice of a silent goodbye,
That guides you
To your soft awakening.